Friends and the F-word

For fans that are attracted to Jennifer Aniston I have to imagine that it was worth the price of admission to see "Derailed", if only just to hear her say "..I want you to "F" me" on film. For the rest of us it wasn't quite that thrilling.

Here's another movie where you can almost hear the pitch that got this movie made. A married man (Clive Owen) meets an attractive sophisticated woman on a train (Aniston), they both have disconnected marriages and a daughter, they meet again for a drink, they wind up in a hotel, they get started on their affair, a thief breaks in, he pistol whips the family man and rapes the attractive sophisticated woman. The rapist/burglar then blackmails the family man for $120,000 (in 3 installments). Sounds like a great idea but there are several flaws including the lead character having the investigative instincts of the Three Stooges.

Number one, why does the thief never blackmail the woman? Clive Owen's character should've realized that from the start. According to her speech on the train she was far more successful than he and had just as much to lose (her daughter). He never questions her even though he's known her for such a short time. You'd think he'd be a tad more paranoid. He felt guilty for not protecting her against the rapist but anyone with a brain would start asking questions. Also, no father on earth would use money saved for his daughters health care (his daughter would die without it) to bury a case of infidelity.

Lastly, these con artists are dumb. How dumb are they? Once they con the lead out of 120K, they get to work on the next victim...in the same town and use the same hotel. Huh?

As my wife said, "any movie I (she) can figure out in the first 10 minutes must suck". In the end Jenifer Aniston did "F me"....out of the 4.00 rental fee.

KING LONG

Uh oh, Peter Jackson is on a winning streak. This means he has free reign to make overblown blockbusters as he sees fit. Don't get me wrong, King Kong is totally eye-candy. In addition he actually tries to tell a story, as evidenced by the fact the Mr. Kong doesn't appear until you are over an hour into the film. I also realized it tough making a (long) film where everyone knows the ending. Nevertheless King Kong was probably not in need of a makeover.

I sincerely think Peter Jackson must print everything he films. At least it seems that way. Action scenes are exhaustingly long and he gets into Lucas' prequel filmmaking masturbation territory at times. There are scenes, like the dinosaur stampede, that are truly eye-rolling moments. The film could've easily been cut to an 1:45 and you would not have missed a thing. I think if Peter Jackson were hired to film a Twilight Zone short he'd turn it into a mini-series somehow.

I'm not expecting Peter Jackson to go back and make Bad Taste II but here's to him returning to a simpler time before unlimited budgets and overblown productions.

Much Ado About Something

Aside from homophobes, I guess I was the last one to see Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain". With a home theater and DVDs selling for cheaper than two movie tickets, I lose inspiration to brave the seat kicking, cell phone ringing, adolescent chit chat that often accompanies the multiplex experience. Unfortunately for movies like Brokeback Mountain I have been listening to hype (and criticism) for months on end. By the time I shove that shiny piece of plastic into my DVD player I have a ton of preconceived notions about what I am about to see.

Even without seeing the movie I was surprised as anyone that after Ang Lee won Best Director the film didn't take home the big prize. I have to admit that most of the directing appeared to be filming in beautiful natural surroundings. In my opinion, the only real bold film making was the up close and in your face filming of the sensual moments. Aside from those unflinching moments it was pretty standard western stuff (like Lee's "Ride With The Devil").

For as long as I can remember I've always had gay friends. Because of that I've always been a supporter of gay rights including god forbid the right to be married. I've never understood the persecution of gay people. Name the top 10 ills of society and show me what gay people have to do with them. If I hear another religious zealot use the phrase "sanctity of marriage" I will go postal. Sanctity? What's the divorce rate in this country? Gay marriage couldn't possibly do any worse than hetero marriages. Gay people are not out to recruit your sons and daughters. They are simply trying to lead a normal human being life. If you let them get married they won't be humping in the streets or cruising junior high schools looking for tail.

So after that diatribe I must have loved the movie, right? After watching the film and rolling it around in my head I've decided it's probably more of an important film than a great film. It's another step to get this issue out in the open and increase dialogue. Anything that puts a crack in the homosexual stereotype has to be a good thing. Heath Ledger's performance is great and was probably Oscar worthy. Jake Gyllenhaal performance was brave but rarely brilliant. The main complaint I hear about this film is that adultery is wrong no matter the circumstances. That opinion is missing the point. These guys wanted to be together but society wouldn't allow it. They were in love before they ever got married. They were forced to keep their love hidden and out of society's watchful eye. In essence society is to blame for their adultery. I'm sure there are thousands of men today in heterosexual relationships who are truly gay. My main complaint was that Jack Twist's (Jake Gyllenhaal) death was extremely anti-climatic. I realize the story is more of Ennis' journey than Jack's but it was a wasted emotional moment. To be honest I cheered more for the relationship in Crying Game than Brokeback Mountain. I just hope that this movie's message is what endures rather than the film itself.